Shoe Boxes

For the second week in a row I neglected to due my Christian duties and attend church.  I know, I know.  But like so many times before including last week, I tuned into my favorite televangist, Joel Osteen.  And like last week, Joel once again captivated my attention and God used him to convey a much needed message to your's truly.  This week, Joel mentioned putting yourself in a box and challenged his congregation as to why they would want to do something so restrictive to their lives; because, after all God would never be so confining.  He would never give you parameters sooooo small.  He wants BIGGER and BETTER things for you in your life then what can fit inside a tiny little box.  And being me, I instantly thought, "WOW!  How true!  I would NEVER want to be confined to a size 6.5 shoe box."  Not only does it have four sides, a bottom, and is only a few inches tall, it also has a lid that will close the box up and won't allow anything (or anyone) inside of it.  You can't even see the contents in the box.  And since most boxes don't have handles, you can't even get help carrying the box to lessen your load.  To make it lighter.  And if you want to empty the box you can do one of two things:  Open the box and individually take items out; or dump the box out in its entirity causing a tremendous mess.

So in this instance, relationships are not like shoes, they are more like the box that your shoes came in....

How many times in our lives, our relationships, do we create borders, boundaries, parameters, guidelines, rules? All. The. Time.  We like things to fit into a pattern; to be predictable.  To happen in a certain order, be orderly.  We want control, control and MORE CONTROL!  We try to cram, cram, cram as much into our little self-prescribed 'box' as we possibly can.  The relationships that we are in can only support us so long before our borders, boundaries, parameters, guidelines, rules have to change.  We have to change them. Not only do we have to change them, we have to make them bigger, add handles, wheels, and maybe even resort to a 4 x 4 pick-up truck to help us carry all of our 'stuff' that life throws at us.  What we don't realize is that all we've done is changed the size and shape of the box that we live in.  We've made it bigger, we've allowed for more 'stuff' to fit inside of our box.  Whether it's people, jobs, hobbies, or bad habits; we put more, more, more into our life, into our relationships.  Our burden is now heavier. We have less control.  We lose control.  Things start slipping. And what is the first thing to go on a box?  The bottom.  Exactly.  The bottom falls out.  Then what happens?  EVERYTHING comes crashing down.  You try to catch all of your 'stuff' in a very impressive juggling act that any circus performing would admire.  But! There's too much.  Now you have casualties.  Hurt feelings.  Strained relationships.  Lost relationships.  Your emotions feel like they have been trampled on.  Murdered. You are an emotional mess.  Everyone else is an emotional mess.  Why?  Because you tried to fit everything in your life in a nice... neat.... pretty.... box.  With a lid. A bottom. Four sides.


I think many times we try to conform to what our friends, family, social class, society in general 'tell' us to do. We all want to be liked. Loved. Wanted.  We shove our lives into a box.  We want rigid sides. Rules.  We subconsciously want limits so it appears that we did not fail, we want the illusion that we weren't allowed to even try to continue to be portrayed. We couldn't. It was off limits.  They were off limits. 


Life is not off limits and life does not have limits.  God has gifted us each with life.  We have opportunities. He has given us those opportunities. We have limitless bounds of opportunities.  To meet people.  To find jobs.  To try new things.  To experience all the great wonders that life has to offer.  How different could your life be right now, today, if you actually tore down the sides of the box and popped the top off and said to the guy or gal you like "I think you're great." or to your boss "I'm a hard worker and I believe I deserve a promotion." To call an old friend.  Contact a family member that you haven't seen or spoken to for an embarrassingly long time.  Plan a reunion. Go on a trip. Meet a college friend for dinner. Even end a relationship, that has become more of a habit than any relationship should. 


Sometimes with relationships you have to seize an opportunity, take it to another level.  Do a little bit of 'outcome engineering'.  God puts the framework up for us but we might have to go get the step ladder to climb over the edge (of our box) so we can reach it.  The catch, the real cherry, is that they, these opportunities, aren't found in any size 6.5 shoe box.  If your box doesn't have room for you life, does it have room for your regrets?   Will you look back in a week, 6 weeks, a decade, half you life, and sound like a cliche? "I wish I would have ...."

So....even though relationships are like shoes...that doesn't mean you have to keep them in a box.